Act VII
Well life goes on I have finals next week so I will not be able to write until after then. Just a short update. No nothing has changed women are still liars they can never tell the truth. You may say you do not lie but I would almost bet that you do(if you are a woman). Maybe I should not be so harsh with women but guess what THE TRUTH HURTS!!!! If you can not face that then TOO BAD. I told my friend the other day maybe I should become a queer then maybe things in that life style CHOICE would be different. Sorry you bunch of wimps it is a choice just like any other choice you make. Sorry I am not willing to compromise my beliefs that way. I know people justify it in many way in an attempt to ease their minds. Man totally off subject there.
Women will never know me because they will not accept the facts that I am a moral person. I do not drink/use drugs/use profanity. Even with all I have been through I still treat women with courtesy and kindness. I still have my own self respect and I will not allow some b*$#@ to take that away from me. Every women that I have met either is a drunk/a dope head/a whore/or has a filthy mouth. I want to ask were is my Princess Charming at? LOL I do not thing she exits except in my own mind.
It is Just Another Beautiful Day In Paradise
Bye now
Aci VI
The events of last night were quite dramatic for me. When Aggie left I was feeling like some one had cut my soul open and all of my life was falling apart. The problem was that I was feeling sorry for myself and not looking at what the real issues were. I was going to lose my convictions to live a moral life (again). As is the case most of the times GOD intervened (again). Here I was willing to forgo my morals for a few minutes or hours of sexual pleasure. What a waste of my life. I HAVE been down that road before and I know what I got out of it. Not much!! Yes I am still fighting the temptation but it also will pass. It is far nobler to a moral healthy life then to compromise ones beliefs. The spiral stair case down tends to get steeper and our dissention faster the farther we go.
I can only thank God and my best friend Sherry in opening my eyes to the truth. I speak of telling the truth often, but as is some times the case I also not do the right thing. There is a difference in telling the truth and doing the right thing. I will always speak the truth but I can also do the wrong thing. I am thankful that my Father is forgiving in all things. Psalm 103 speaks that My Father remembers that I am but dust and as a father forgives his children so will My Father forgive me.
There is a song that The Cathedrals sing it is called Sin Will Take You Farther -then you wanted to go and keep you longer then you wanted to stay. The truth of that song gets clearer and clearer as my life goes along. Yes I am a slow learner but I will learn as time goes on. At this point I am thankful mostly to God for his help through all of this mess. I had given up on my self and did not care what I done or what happened to me. Be fore warned that if you find your self on this slippery slope stop and hit your knees as fast as you can. The price you will pay will far exceed the gain that you will get from what ever sin you are toying with. Moses’ said I would rather suffer with my brethren then to enjoy sin for a season. Ecclesiastes states that there is a time and a season for every thing. There is a time to be sad and a time to be happy there is a time to cry and there is a time to laugh there is a time to plant and a time to pluck up that which is grown a time to love and a time to hate (didn’t think hate was in the bible did you) A time to morn and a time to rejoice.
Look up little children your redemption draweth nigh. Oh ye of little faith if you had the faith the size of mustard seed you can say to this mountain be ye removed from here and it would be removed. Now I wonder why it is that televangelist will state it is because of your faith you are not healed or you’re prays not answered yet they claim to have more faith then most people but yet they can not move mountains. So do all of us have such little faith and it is so small that it could not move a mountain? I know I have never seen a person make the claim that they could move a mountain. LOL
Act V
Well another day has come. Well a girl came over tonight with her 16 month old daughter. Sorry folks nothing happened. We talked and she laid her daughter down to sleep. Then I went to get her some Tylenol and when I came back she said that she was going to go home. End of story.
I asked her if it was because of my age and she said no, but some how I do not think that is the truth. She said she would call me in about ten minutes, again I do not think she will.
She has used drug and alcohol to hide behind, now she is scared of who she is.
That is what happens when a person hides from reality, one day they wake up and do not like who they have become and it scares the crap out of them. I really do not think that I will ever see her again other then in my store.
It is still Another Beautiful Day in Paradise
Act IV
I have titled these writings as "acts" because that is the way women are. They act one way at one time then they act another way at another time. I can say that because of the girl that I am trying to get to know. I felt like she was just brushing me aside. I asked her do you want to be with me or not she said that she did but then she never bothers to call me or make an effort to even see me. I like her and would like to get to know her but in my opinion she is not interested in it that much. So I think that right now I can just call her a liar. Harsh? Yes it is but that is my world. I do not play games and I have no time for women that want too. You know honesty is so far removed from this society that it is a shame. Oh do not get me started on honesty in this world IT DOES NOT EXSITST!!!!
I think that I have become a bitter man as I grow older. I try to think back as too why I have become so bitter and all I can think of is because of women.
One cheated with my best friend, one lied and never told the truth, one degraded me, one mentally abused me. Gee no wonder I am bitter towards women. There is very little that I can find positive about the relationships that I have had. Now either I am just a glutton for punishment or there is some thing else wrong. The sad facts are that I have become so bitter that I can not even shed a tear. If I could cry then I would right now, but it is not there and has not been for a long time. Could just get drunk but BTDT do not want to go back there. Get high but BTDT also not worth it. Kill my self....... Well.........No nothing worth killing my self for. Yea right kill my self because of woman.
Life or death not much difference in either one in my book. Not much to live for and not much to die for. Now that is a sorry state to be in!!! I am just a lonely old man that has few friends and no serious relationship and probally never will. I say that because I do not wish to compromise who I am.
I dream of having a woman that would accept me for who I am and not for what I have or can give them. One that will ALWAYS tell the truth, one that is faithful, one that has a brain that God gave her and is using it, one that is constiterate, one that is kind, one that is generous. I think that I am dreaming of a fairy tale and not real life. So I will take my fairy tale life and go too bed. Goodnight Gracie
It is Just Another Beautiful Day in Paradise
